About a year ago, a single male friend of mine mentioned that his efforts at finding a long-term relationship were being hamstrung by the fact that an increasing number of the women he met on dating apps were already married. I became interested in the inner lives of such women, women rebelling against the constraints of monogamy or refusing to be married in the usual way. One woman, having heard about my interest, offered to tell me about her experience on Ashley Madison, a dating app designed for married people seeking out affairs. There was an element of excitement and danger, but alongside that were feelings of loneliness, insecurity, isolation, and shame, the same feelings that made her want to cheat in the first place. It would be a relief, she said, just to tell someone what it was really like. Here is what she told me. It started with rage. I was home alone and I looked out my window and noticed a police car outside. It turned out his business was being sued by the city.
It hurts, but I’m going to defend Ashley Madison and 33 million adulterers | Van Badham
I married my high school sweetheart. In the 12 years that followed, I felt comfortable in marriage. Our sex life is satisfactory: once a week and in basic positions. But the passion is gone, and a couple of years ago my physical attraction to my wife waned due to her weight gain. My libido has increased with age, and with this I grew more dissatisfied and resentful of the prospect of a sexually unfulfilled life. As time passed, I reflected on my limited experiences in light of the realisation that I may spend the rest of my life fundamentally unsatisfied. I realised that the love I have for my wife is and has always been far more platonic than romantic.
About a year ago, I found myself overcome by ennui. Having been unfaithful to my handsome, hilarious and very nearly perfect husband in the past, I was familiar with the buzz of infidelity, and I wanted to get high again. I'd read about the Ashley Madison website in a magazine article a year or two before, filing the data away for potential future use. Not long after, I looked online to see what the website purported to deliver. As a woman, my registration was free. My interest was immediately piqued.
I learned so many lessons from all of you that I will carry with me. That love is something I feel so grateful to have felt and will take a piece of that with me always going forward. Believe me this was not easy for either of us to be ok with, but after a lot of honest conversations, we have agreed that this is what makes most sense for the two of us. The love and respect I have for Madi will continue to endure. However, the pilot broke off his short-lived engagement one month later to pursue a relationship with Prewett after realizing he still had feelings for her. You are such a strong, confident woman and you deserve all the love in the world. Thank you to all of you! This is just another chapter in my story.